Relax

Something amazing just happened over the past three days. I finally met someone who is just as as unusual as I am. This isn't just in the regular "unusual" way. So far, we like and dislike the same things, and have been texting constantly for the past week or so. This sounds good, and it feels good to me, but I only have one problem; I feel like I'm getting ahead of myself too fast, and I feel like this could end badly.

Part of me doesn't want to believe that. This is mainly because in the majority of relationships that I get involved in start off great, but always had that element of suspicion that I always overlooked. I just don't feel that here. I put on my skeptic's lenses, and I do feel a little bit leery about some things, but come on, I'm still in the beginning stages of this new friendship. I'm going to be honest, I never gone into any friendship or relationship completely trusting my new friend. It just doesn't happen. There is still a lot that I have to learn or find out about them. Of course, I could just ask questions, but what fun is that? One of the fun parts of learning about a new person is trying to find out about how they think, and who they hang out with. I could use myself as an example. I'm a pretty mysterious person, at the surface. People usually think that I'm a brooding, anti-social jerk that doesn't care about anyone or anything. Once people loose that notion, they figure out that, I am not a brooding, anti-soical jerk that hates everyone. Usually people are just biased towards things that they don't know.

I'm not going to pretend that I'm a prefect person. I honestly have a hard time trusting people, but the good thing is that I'm working on it. I'm not the type of person that can't trust anyone and wants to control them but I'm more like "I haven't heard from them all day. What the heck?". I guess I'm a nervous wreck sometimes, but the good news is that I can change.

Ironically, this is the prefect opportunity to let me change. All I have to do is just relax and hope for the best. This is the prefect time to try. I've been trying to kick my habit of worrying for so long, but this would be the greatest way to kill it off for good. For example, I always used to freak out before my debate rounds, but then I started to listen to some of my favorite songs, take a deep breath in, and meditate. No matter how intimidating my opponent looked, I started to do this "ritual" and then I started slaying my opponents in the round. I just have to find my ritual to calm down and worry less.

I'll see where this friendship takes me. I'm not going to loose it for sure. I've been too naive in the past, and now I think that I finally know and understand what I have to do in order to make this work. This time, I won't go in fearless, and worried, I just have to remain positive and I'll see where that takes me.