An open letter to Canada.

Dear Canada,
You are awesome. I haven't been able to visit you, but I have seen many a television documentary about you and you are just awesome. You remind me of a huge chunk of land full of awesome natural wonder. I should also say that you are very cold. I'm not too fond of cold weather, but I deal with it every fall and winter, so it doesn't really matter to me. I have herd that it does get a nice 23 Celsius some days, but to me that is still kind of cold. When I was in elementary school I had to take a Canadian history class (I still don't know why). You do have quite an interesting history, but I still don't understand why most of Canada is loyal to England, and Quebec is...Well, French? Anyway, I think that you have a nice history.

When I think about it Canada, you guys are kind of like me when it comes to war and conflicts its a "meh" kind of thing. I know you back up the people who can fight, and can kind of fight on your own, but for the most part you just don't get into it. I like that. Is your military bored? They don't really do anything. If I was to join a military, I would join yours because you look like you think before  you act.

You also have some awesome food. When you put pizza and Spaghetti together you get the best combo of my favorite food ever. I could go on and on about your awesome food and such, but that is just for later.
No lie, I could stay on the topic of food for a while, I could even write a whole post on food. I won't though.

I also love all of the various accents that you have Canada. I'd do anything to trade my lame, American Accent for a Canadian one.  My accent is kind of like a mix between an American newscaster,  typical skateboarding teenager, and the flair of a speech and debater (have you heard us talk?).  Like I said, I would just love to speak like an Canadian. I would love to speak French with a French Canadian Accent. Anyway, the way you guys talk is just the best.

So, if you do read this Canada, please just let me know. :)

Your Friend,
riotxgrrlxamy

Tattoos

I really want a tattoo. I was thinking of a dragon with fire or something, or a dharma wheel. I just want something different and something that has a high value in my life. I need to pick something good because I really don't want to get laser surgery to remove the thing once I "don't like it " anymore. I want something that says "Wow, that is awesome, but at the same time, it's a work of art!" I want to get the tattoo and have no regrets. Or in other words, I want to be 75 with the same tattoo and love it just as much as when I first got it. I'm not sure if I want to get it now, or a little bit later. I'm thinking later because I can have some time to think about it you know? I don't want to rush a tattoo and then be like "why on earth did I get this?". If that happened, I would have to get it altered, or just get it removed altogether. I seen when people get tattoos removed, it just looks awful. Yeah, I don't think that I want that.

I was even thinking about drawing the tattoo out myself. That way, people would say "Oh wow! Who did that tatoo?" and I would reply "I drew it, some guy I know put it on me". So then that way, I could be the only one in the world with a dragon in a flame background with a pantbrush and eisel. Awesome right?

Yeah, I think that I might just go for the outlandish "Oh my God, what the heck is that" kinds of tattoos. I wouldn't go too extreme though, like a robot playing chess against a tree in an oven. That brings up something else, I shouldn't get drunk (or abuse an illegal substance, I don't anyway) when I get that tattoo. Because you know what happens when you get drunk right? I don't want to have a tattoo of Samuel Adams with a pirate hat on my left arm (sounds cool, but I don't want it).

I still have some thinking left before I really decide on what I want. That's just fine with me because I want to be happy with what I get, and keep it for the rest of my life. I guess that tattoos are really "skin tight".

How to write a debate case that will get you to 3rd round at a National Qualifing Meet

I did this once. I don't know how I excatly did it, but I did do this. I got to third round at a National Qualifing meet although I was the last ranked in my catagory.  In other words, I kicked some serious tail that day.  I know that it's Summer, but I still can't get debate out of my mind. I was really thining about all of the other things that I could do, but thats a post for later. Just to let you all know, a Case is almost the same thing as a 2-10 long winded paragraph on any topic that the National Forensic League wants. This blog post is ment to be very sarcastic, and I'm sorry if I offended any other debaters out there. No, this is not a coppy of the speech that got me to the third round at nat qualls last season. Again, please don't take this seriosll

You can't write an essay without a topic, so my topic will be " Is it fair for Speech and Debaters to spend 12 hour days at Tournaments?"

Once you have your topic, you have to see if you want to start off writing your affirmative speech or negative speech. For times sake, I'm going to start off with my Affirmative speech. When writing both sides, remember not to put your own personal feelings into it. If you do that, then it will be easier for your opponent to attack you on a point such as "Biased to personal opinion" or "Being a Republican", and we really don't want that to happen...

To start off the speech, you want a touchy quote by some famous foreign dead guy.  If the guy is famous, then your stupid judge can know who he is, if the guy is from a far away place, then he must be important, and last, if a guy said this quote, then they would also give you bonus points because guys are just ideal right?  My quote will be by Frederick Ophiner (Get it? This guy isn't real! hah, this is already sounding smart!): "The one who speaks the most, deserves the best competition. " That sounds good right? 

How can you do Lincoln Douglas Debate if you don't have a value? Well, you can't. I tried it and I lost (by two points! Not a bad deal). When you pick out your values, you want to have a Core Value. A Core Value is the CORE of your case. If you have no CORE value, then you are just screwed.  My core value will be Anti Choice, because debaters don't choose their own destiny. How? How don't they choose their destiny? You explain that later. The little value criterion (if you want to be a hot shot, call it "criterion") is just a sitting duck. You use little VC when you want to whip your smarty pants opponent in your last speech, but that isn't important right now.

Lets move on to the real meat of the case: the Contention. Your contentions is where you go all out crazy in any way possible to prove your point.  Contentions should be filled with as much evidence as you can put in them. I seen (well heard) some kid with 10 contentions in their case (not a lie). I had to go up against them too and man was I screwed. To prove my point. Just put as much junk in the contentions as you want to. The more the better.

At the end, you should say " I see nothing other than an Affirmitive ballot". It strikes fear in your opponent and plus, it makes you look pretty cool too. This is what your case should look like if you took all of my recommendations:

Aff Case:

A wise man by the name of  Frederick Ophiner once said "The one who speaks the most, deserves the best competition." I fully agree with this quote and I stand in FULL affirmation of the topic Is it fair for Speech and Debaters to spend 12 hour days at Tournaments?

Let me now present my values:
My Core value is Anti-Thought and my Criterion is Lack of Sleep.

Contentions:
Contention 1:People don't need sleep.
Subpoint A: I am an example. (use subpoints to sound flashy! Use them often!)
Subpoint B:
Subpoint C:
Subpoint D:
Contention 2: You can sleep when you are dead.
Subpoint A: I'm an example too.
Subpoint B:
Subpoint C: More BS statistics.
Subpoint D: (you get the point right?)

Remember to close things off with: I can see nothing other than an Affirmative ballot.

That's it.  That is how you write an award winning case. I still don't know why I do this every weekend while I'm in school.