I'm on summer vacation for the next four or so months, so I got a lot of time to take part in my favorite activity; songwriting. I been kind of hesitant towards songwriting for the past couple of months because I frankly don't know how to write a song. Yesterday when I started writing, I just told myself to "wing it" until something sounds great. I've written a lot of poetry, but I just stopped a while ago because I wanted to. Now that I told myself to write, I just can't stop.
I really didn't stop either. Although I really haven't written a full arrangement in a while, but I have bits of lyrics that I have scattered around in notebooks, note cards, journals and phones. I have "seeds" around everywhere that could grow into a full song if I just put the time in that I needed to. Now that I have time, I can start developing those ideas into the extraordinary songs that they are.
My friends are always asking me about my songwriting process, and what inspires me to write. I usually give the same answer: "Oh, you know, if something happens in my life, I write about it, and just see what happens". Although that is true, I try to examine the underling issues of my songs. For example, I could have the worst day in my life and decide to write a song not about being angry, but instead about how people treat other people. That could be the same thing, but I think that the motivations behind both songs is quite different. I really don't say that when someone asks me about how I write songs.
Whenever my friends ask me about my songwriting progress, most of them say "Just go for it! We are waiting for your album!". I honestly can't wait to finish whatever DIY mess I make but I'll make sure to include amazing songs.
Monday, May 28, 2012
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Finally cracked.
I've been feeling strange lately. It isn't just strange in the sense of "I really don't know how I feel" but more like I just don't want to tell anyone how I feel. This is partly because I really don't know how I feel. I just can't describe it. Part of it also comes from the fact that I really can't think about anything because I'm so tired all of the time. This got annoying, so I decided to just take a time out this weekend and find out this feeling inside.
So I was sitting on my bed yesterday after going to the record store and just enjoying the day, and then it hit me. I cracked open a soda (this is kind of my new thing to do on the weekend, kick back and drink a soda or two) and I just sat, waiting to find out what I hiding on the inside. My phone suddenly blurted out a text alert, and then I knew what I was hiding from. I'm hiding from the fact that I'm in love.
That is it. I just don't like admitting it. When I do admit or at leas tell my feelings for another person to one of my friends, it's always an awkward affair (I know, I shouldn't have used the a word). I honestly want to tell one of my friends, but it is just so strange for me. Whenever I do I usually get the "Oh really?" treatment, or a weird look. So far, I haven't told anyone how I directly feel because I don't want to risk myself becoming enraged or anything.
Then again, I just don't want to be wrong with anything. My mindset is "I can't feel any pain if I don't admit my feelings". As great as that works, I just don't like being dishonest to myself. So I guess this time around, I'm doing things the "right way". I guess this is my new stance on life, if I feel like I'm doing something wrong, then I'm doing it wrong.
I then looked at my phone, and then I realized that I got a text from the person that I wanted to talk to. At first, I was just glad that they texted me first, I hate texting first. I just don't enjoy texting people first becasue I hate all of the pressure that it brings. So this was a welcome relief. I didn't know then that this simple text back could morph into a three hour talk fest. I don't want to say anything bad because it wasn't a bad conversation, but it was one of those conversations where you just don't talk about anything and enjoy it.
Something is defiantly happening right now. I just can't put my finger on it yet. For now, I don't want to talk about all of the negative things that might happen. I only want to think about all of the good that will be coming my way. If that isn't optimism, I don't know what is.
So I was sitting on my bed yesterday after going to the record store and just enjoying the day, and then it hit me. I cracked open a soda (this is kind of my new thing to do on the weekend, kick back and drink a soda or two) and I just sat, waiting to find out what I hiding on the inside. My phone suddenly blurted out a text alert, and then I knew what I was hiding from. I'm hiding from the fact that I'm in love.
That is it. I just don't like admitting it. When I do admit or at leas tell my feelings for another person to one of my friends, it's always an awkward affair (I know, I shouldn't have used the a word). I honestly want to tell one of my friends, but it is just so strange for me. Whenever I do I usually get the "Oh really?" treatment, or a weird look. So far, I haven't told anyone how I directly feel because I don't want to risk myself becoming enraged or anything.
Then again, I just don't want to be wrong with anything. My mindset is "I can't feel any pain if I don't admit my feelings". As great as that works, I just don't like being dishonest to myself. So I guess this time around, I'm doing things the "right way". I guess this is my new stance on life, if I feel like I'm doing something wrong, then I'm doing it wrong.
I then looked at my phone, and then I realized that I got a text from the person that I wanted to talk to. At first, I was just glad that they texted me first, I hate texting first. I just don't enjoy texting people first becasue I hate all of the pressure that it brings. So this was a welcome relief. I didn't know then that this simple text back could morph into a three hour talk fest. I don't want to say anything bad because it wasn't a bad conversation, but it was one of those conversations where you just don't talk about anything and enjoy it.
Something is defiantly happening right now. I just can't put my finger on it yet. For now, I don't want to talk about all of the negative things that might happen. I only want to think about all of the good that will be coming my way. If that isn't optimism, I don't know what is.
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