On being Awkward.

 People always call me awkward, but I came to the realization that I don't know what "awkward" is anyway. So I got online and found these definitions to see if I fit any of them.


1. (obsolete) In a backwards Direction.
This is an outdated term anyway. It would have been used in a way like "you are facing the awkward direction, please turn around". I don't stand in the backwards direction (well, not most of the time) so I don't think that people would be using this to describe me anyway.

2. Lacking dexterity in the use of the hands, or of instruments.
This is a true statement. I really can't use my hands when I'm nervous because I shake so much! Here is a story. I was at this Debate meet once (yeah, I know...) and I was trying to write down a question, and what do you know, right when I pick up my pen, its halfway across the room on the floor.

I think that I'm pretty good with my hands because I can type really fast (my best benchmark so far is 100 words per minute) and I play guitar, so at least I think that I'm good with my hands and dexterity. But I drop things a lot, and it always has to be around people, so I think that this definition is somewhat accurate.


3.Not easily managed or effected; embarrassing.
This is an adverbial phrase (or in other words, it modifies a verb). So if this was the case, we would be describing a situation. For example; When I drank the orange juice after I brushed my teeth, the taste was incredibly awkward. I'm not too hard to get along with, and I'm really not embarrassing at all, so that definition doesn't fit well.


4.Lacking social skills, or uncomfortable with social interaction.
Yeah. This is me. I love people and talking in front of people but for some reason, I just can't talk to people. Take for example, that kid I had a crush on in class last year. We didn't look like we had things in common, but we did. I however, had to bring some "weird" stuff into the conversation. (What else do you do when people are looking at you... in the EYES!)
"Um, did you hear about that kid who got suspended for bringing that confetti to 3rd period last week?"
"No, I didn't hear about that. Did you see it?"
"Ummm. No, but my friend did and they said that it was so funny. You know what I was at lunch 3rd period last week, I think you were looking at me and...Oh whoops."

See what I mean?

So I guess I'm closest to the 4th definition. I just don't get it, why don't people call me awkward so often. It is kind of obvious that I'm "different" and or "awkward" so why should that be pointed out to me all of the time? Heck, I guess that this is one of my pet peeves. Whatever, I think I'm used to being awkward anyway.