The big question

Ever since my last post, I've been trying to do something each day to get my mind off of feeling bad. Its working, and that is what I'm enjoying right now. Today I thought that it would be reasonable to write in this blog more, and just write more in general. Although I've been having fun reviewing albums on my music blog, I thought that it would be cool if I would "put some life into this blog". I want to say that "noting new has happened since the last post", but that would be a lie. A lot of things has happened since the last post and I'm pretty glad that I'm here to write about it and share it.

Every day, I wake up and say "I'm alive! I made it thought the night! Why am I awake? (alright, I say that sometimes, but not all the time. I never get enough sleep). But this conversion goes two ways; I usually brush it off and just go about my day, or I think about that question all day. Today was one of those days. I was sitting in my programing class and I had just enough "me time" to think about this question. I got it down to 3 simpler questions that I have to ask myself so that I can understand the big question "why am I here?"

What do I want to do with my life?

How can I achieve that?

How can I keep myself happy?

Those are the "big 3" that are always on my mind.

I guess we all want to answer the question "why we are here" but something is different about me, I'm thinking about this all the time because I didn't die on that one day (yeah, I forgot the date.). It's like this "If I'm here, then I'm here for a reason right?" and this is a true statement. Now that I think about it, I have a lot of reasons to stay alive. I don't know them all, but I know that I would be missing out on a lot of cool things if I'm not here in about a month. Heck, I'll be missing a lot of cool things if I wasn't here period (like a Sleater - Kinney reunion. It could happen people! Just believe!). And yes, I would also miss the kid who is like my "little sister". She plays drums and also listens to Sleater - Kinney. Her mom has purple hair, and I feel like I should have been in there family all along. I didn't think about it then, but I would feel so bad if she found out that I wasn't around anymore to help her play drums, or just around in general to play more of our crazy songs. So for now, I'll be around "just in case" any un-expected jam sessions just happen to pop up anytime soon.

Although this week is almost over, I'm still planning to do something relatively fun this weekend. My guitar needs to be cleaned, so I'm going to clean it and change the strings this weekend, so I can enjoy playing more. (I get distracted when I see dirt and grime on the strings of my guitar, and I hate it when the strings buzz.)

I'll blog tomorrow, or at least I should.