Aches and Pains

Last week or so, I started to see red bumps on my legs. They were all around my thighs, but not on my calfs or anything. At the debate meet this weekend, I couldn't stop itching my collar bone. It might just have been the shirt, but I still wasn't sure. When I got home, it looked like a rash, and I wasn't to concerned.

Then yesterday I lost my voice (a little). I thought that this was just from talking for 10 hours, but again I still don't know where it came from. 9ish yesterday night; my throat was super sore, and I couldn't swallow. This morning, I couldn't sleep and I think I had a fever because I was sweating so much. I kind of threw up this morning and I couldn't really stand up straight. I don't know why, but I went to all of my hard classes today. Just my luck, I forgot my homework on my desk. I almost passed out 3 times this morning and my skin hurt to  the touch. I just felt awefull.

I got home and I took some meds, and I took a hour and 30 minute nap. I felt better after that. I'm working on going to bed early so no more blogging for now.

Stress plus some.

I'm really stressed out right now. Today was just lame, I woke up and realized that it was Columbus day and I didn't have it off. I have a really bad headache and I'm worried about my classes and getting good grades in all of my classes before the end of the quarter, which is in about a week or so. If I keep my grades as is, I'll be somewhat happy, but what is so bad about upping your grades?

I'm not too concerned about the work load, but I'm more concerned about how my grades and how my health is doing. I've been hungry all day, my neck and shoulders till hurt, and I slept for about 14 hours yesterday. I'm just so exhausted, and I have no idea what to do. Most likely I'm going to go to bed early, and as soon as I'm done writing this, I'm going to go to bed an hour and a half early.  I'm sure that I can sleep easy tonight because I"m done with all of my homework and that stressor is gone.

I'm still wondering why my neck is still really messed up and why it cracks so much whenever I tilt it back. I think that I need to go to a doctor or chiropractor, but I'm kind of hateful when it comes to doctors. The last time I was going to go to a doctor I fractured my wrist playing tennis. Little did I know that I put my half broken wrist back into place when I was asleep, slept on it, and had a swollen wrist in the morning. I know that I should go to the doctor but when do I have time to?

I'm going to end it here so I can  write more later. Hopefully I will be feeling better by then.

Whatever happened to artists?

I'm an artist. I create art, I love art, and I would fight for art if it was in a war. Now, I don't always paint to make art, sometimes I make artful music , sometimes I write about things in an artful way and I share it with the world (ahem, my blog) and even I just like to take a normal sharpie and decorate a T-shirt with some random slogan that just happens to say "Whatever Happened to the artists?" I really wish that I knew.

If I knew more about why artists are on the decline, then I would love to talk to someone about it. Even at school (yes, I'm that into school) I can't find the artists. When I talk to my friends about "art" and why "art is on the decline in society" they just call me off as being "crazy" or that "I'm the one who can't see the art in today's society, not us.".

So I'm lost. What the heck do I do now? do I keep wigging out on my guitar and making it so loud that others around me leave because they "wish I played something with chords?" Do I keep making and wearing the things that aren't "in" and wearing the shirts that have the things that "people don't get".  Yes I know is hard but, I think I just need to think about where I'm going so I won't become that "starving artist" that I really don't want to be.

Just a note.

I went to a concert on Monday. I blogged about it. I didn't really have time to write for you all because I was doing this 300 point essay that is due tommarow and I wanted to get that done. I will be back to writeing as soon as I can :)

Thanks.

I'm not like this all the time.

So today wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, and that was good. The strange thing was that all of my classes went by super fast and all of the tests were easier than I thought they would be. I hate to say that I over studied, but I know that that wasn't true, I just think that I was well prepared. My arm didn't hurt today, and my neck wasn't sore at all, so today was positive just because I got though it without the harm that I thought that would happen. On the other hand though, I was thinking about the Homecoming dance that is coming up in about a week and I feel kind of bummed out because I know that I won't get a date anytime soon.

Just to let you guys know, I'm not always "Miss Sad" all the time. Most of the time I'm not sad at all, I'm satisfied mostly. But when things don't turn out the way that you want them too or when you wait and wait and wait and things are still the same, you start to get bummed out because you kind of know that things are just going to stay the same and there is no use fighting against it.

Forgive me for my mood swings, I'm not like this all the time. I'm not getting enough sleep, I'm stressed out, my neck is killing me and I have no idea whats wrong with it, and to top it all off, I have to be 3 places in one day. I'm sorry if I'm not being the "best blogger ever" and my posts are kind of lame, but I need some kind of an outlet right now, and I'm happy you are reading it. 

Honest truth.

The honest truth is that I needed to vent my feelings about how I felt this Friday.  I'm not always this "mad" or whatever, but I do have to say that I'm don't want to hide my feelings if the people around me want to see how I feel about things. Honestly, I wish that that I had a magic wand and get all the things that I can manifest.

I made a promise to myself that I'm going to get through this week and write about it and go to the concert and (hopefully) start a mosh pit. I'm not sure if I'm inviting anyone because my friends don't really do the "punk rock mosh pit" thing, and that is fine with me :)

Well, I'm going to post later (hopefully) and I'm going to be guilty to do the "double post".  I"m going to take advantage of the 30% -40% off sale at the record store. I hope I can nab something good!