Image by mugley via FlickrI want to say that this break up was "painless" but that would just be a lie; every break up is painful, but sometimes they just don't hurt as bad. Its like getting a paper cut on your hand, and one on your fingertip; they both hurt, they are both on the hand, but you will feel the one on the tip of the finger more.
I'm not sad right now, I'm more disappointed in myself and the situation I'm in. Put yourself in my shoes for a second; I've been single for 3 years, people break up with me for really stupid reasons and I been dumped on or before valentines day twice. You can see where I'm coming from. I just want to know what I'm doing wrong. I'm not a bad person and I'm not a bad date. It really makes me mad when people make up a bullshit excuse or "dumb things down" to "lessen the impact". I'm not going to feel better if I keep thinking about "how lame I am".
I went to bed at 2:15, I was still trying to digest everything. To be honest, I still dont' know what went on. Everything is so confusing. When this was happening at 8 ish last night, I was kind of tired and pissed off. I only talked to them because I "wanted to know if we were doing anything tomorrow. Its going to be a nice day". Frankly not. I got all the reasons why "this couldn't work" and "why both of us shouldn't be dating" and all of this unnecessary rubbish. I then used my time honored debate skills and said something among the lines of this: " I see your point, and I know that it it is valid. The thing is, I know that you were trying to break up with me for 2 weeks. I'm not stupid".
I don't even know if I want to be friends. I don't want to be friends with them right now, that is a sure thing. We were good friends in the past until the same thing happened the "Oh, I think we are done dating. We never do anything." I then just quit talking to them for a good while and then out of the blue, "want to go out?". I flat out said that "This isn't going to last if you don't give me some space to focus my responsibilities" and they agreed. It sucked when they used that against me. "We never do anything, you are always doing something". Really? I never would have guessed (bitterness over). Friends are there when you need them, and there when you don't. This isn't going to happen right now. I don't know about the future, but I doubt that would happen.
I learned 2 things from this: Don't EVER date an Ex no matter how long its been. Also rebound relationships hurt the non rebounder too. I don't care how long its been, how many people you dated since you last dated your Ex, how great and fantastic your self esteem is, or any of that. Never date an ex. Its like déjà vu every time you see them again, nothing is going to change, it never will. If you are thinking of a rebound relationship, keep the other person in mind. Think of all the pain that you might cause someone else. Think about how you will make them feel when things are over and done. They might cry themselves to sleep every night, lash out at friends and family, or grow to hate you in the long run. Keep that in mind before you fall into a relationship
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