I thought I wouldn't last a week, but here I am, 31 days later and everything is going ok. Well, at least better than I thought it would be. I think things are going well, but nothing has really changed. The date last week didn't happen, I didn't get the national slot, I didn't watch SNL this weekend, life goes on. Class has been canceled for the past 2 days due to closed weather, so I'm kind of waiting for something to happen. So I thought that I would blog about not being clingy.
I've been called "clingy" in every relationship I've been in, but I haven't been called clingy in this relationship. I have a vague definition of "clingyness" but this is taken from compiled data from the vast series of tubes called the internet. No matter where I look, I always find these 5 things in common.
You always call first.
You don't have a life outside the relationship.
You are insecure.
You are lonely
You Panic too much.
I'm going to disprove all of these things in the analytical way that I always do things.
"You always call first"
First of all I don't call people (yeah, sorry. I'm trying to lighten the mood). But I do get into the habit of texting "Good morning" at 6:30 when I leave for the day, and I always text "Good Night" before I go to bed. From my point of view, it is the right thing to do. If someone finds that annoying, I beg to differ. People like that kind of stuff, its common courtesy. In my book, texting "good day" is like holding the door open for someone you don't know. It is the little things that people don't think about too often, but when they do they really appreciate them.
"You don't have a life outside the relationship"
Again, this is not true. Have you read my debate blogging? I have a life, even though my Significant other doesn't agree with me. I'm always doing something throughout the months. Its debate season right now, but even that is starting to slow down a bit. Volunteer season is coming up soon, and if I make some money in the next couple of months I'll be recording the songs I wrote with a crapy tape deck. Yeah, I think that I have a life outside this relationship. I just think that it would brighten up my day a little if I seen them.
"You are insecure"
I don't think I'm insecure, but I'll address this anyway. Insecurity is when you don't really know what you want, or how you are going to get what you want. I'm like this sometimes, but it is always when I'm panicking. I might be one of those people who have a strong will to do something, but is afraid to do it because I'm too indifferent to my feelings. Again, I don't really know (heck, I really might be indifferent!)
"You are Lonely"
I get lonely sometimes, I'm not going to deny that. I know why I'm lonely though. Its because people "Talk and ditch" or in other words, people will talk to me for a while, but then I don't know what happens after the fact. I have friends and all of that, but I just want to hear from them some times. I haven't seen most of my friends in 4 years, and you don't know how upsetting that is. I feel like I can't talk to people about how I feel and when I do get the opportunity chance it just goes away, like the smoke from a blown out candle.
"You panic too much"
This is true. Sometimes I freak out if something isn't going as planned or if I miss a deadline or something like that. I feel like I should carry around a paper bag and start to breathe into it if I get to "panic prone". Remember that one time when I was talking about "stress related heart attacks?" I think I might get one soon.
Frankly, I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know if "clingy is a virtue" or if I'm crazier than a sandwich with cling wrap on it. I'm going to explain my day with metaphors so stick around and catch the goodness.
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