I'm not true to my age.

I'm not that old. I'm not going to tell you my real age because you are are going to have to find that out for yourself. So to start of this post in a positive light, I'm going to have some trivia for you guys relating to my age:

• I'm old enough to drive.
• I can get into concerts without being kicked out.
• I'm not old enough to legally drink.
• I had a president write to me when email was "new".
• I'm too young to remember Tron, but I have seen it.
• I'm young enough to have had a tape deck, and a Walkman.
• I'm young enough to have used encyclopedia in my life.
• I can get a tattoo.

But why does this matter? I'm always thinking about how people my age "don't get me" and how the people who are are older than I am get me, but I hate being so "young" if you get what I'm saying.  I try to connect with people my age, but I always get the same answer of "no" when I ask if they "Want to go to a indie rock concert that will be life changing". But I do have the rare 3 friends who are my age, exactly like me, and are willing to go to an indie rock concert with me and get home at 1AM without getting yelled at with by their parents. The bad thing is that all of my friends live in California, New Mexico and Kentucky. I do get the couple of friends that relate to me in my state, but they are always doing something "more important" (see here)

Now on the other hand, people older than me get me, but I don't want to say the wrong thing; I'm always kind of nervous when I'm talking to someone older than me because I don't want to seam like a "kid" to them.  Yes, I'm smart for my age because I'm hanging out with people older than myself. It's always been that way. For example, when I was in Kindergarten I was hanging out with kids in Third grade and helping them with their homework (no lie). I moved on from hanging out with third graders, now I'm a natural with the local punks, "crazy" people who aren't really crazy, musicians and I'm kind of good of tolerating hipsters (that was hard to say).

This is even effecting my relationships. I don't think that anyone my age wants to date me because I'm too "smart, or too strange". But I do have someone who cares, I just don't want to share that with you guys because sadly, my blog is not my journal. If I do ever feel like boring my feelings out on the screen then I'll be happy to tell you, but it isn't' now.

I always am my natural self either way though because I'm just that kind of person who likes being themselves, I'm a natural Leo. What else can you expect from me? Yes, I don't just give in to my concerns when I'm doubting myself, I keep trying until I reach my goal, or the goal gives up on me. That is just what I have to do now, keep trying to be optimistic and I'm sure that I'll make it through.

What I want for my birthday.

I don't want too much for my birthday because I don't want too much of anything anyway because I don't need material objects (thanks Buddha!). I might just be growing up but I really tried to think about what I wanted for my birthday, but I couldn't find more than 5 things that I would really like to make my birthday the best ever.  I broke this list into  material things that I wanted, and the non-material things that I wanted. It was only fair.

Material

• The Simpson's Season 5. I could settle for seasons 4 and 6 too. (Note to blog readers: I am a Simpsonholic. I seen every episode and can quote just about every one too. I should be yellow)
•  South Park Seasons 8,9, or 10
  I love South Park, so why not (try) to have the whole series on DVD? Yeah, I think that the series has started to slip in the past few seasons but its fine with me. I'll just watch the older and better episodes. If you are just getting into South Park, I recommend seasons 1-10, don't waste your time with the newer ones, they are just not top-notch.
• Money.
  No, I'm not asking for 250 dollars. I'd be happy with 10 or 20 so I could buy some CD's or improve my vinyl collection (Yes 20 dollars will buy you about 5 used vinyls at my favorite shop. 20 dollars would also buy you 1 brand new release from just about any indie label. Blame hipsters.) 
• Effects pedal for my awesome guitar
  I'm cheepo, I bought this pretty good multi-effects pedal for like 30 dollars at Christmas time as a gift for myself. I still use it, but I want to upgrade to this distortion pedal that's really great. What's the catch? I know this place where you can get the same pedal for only...20 dollars! Hah, I'm not spending 120 dollars for this pedal new! I'm a cheepo 8)
• Wii Fit Plus
I'm a health nut, but I never have the time to go run around outside or go for a walk. I have the Original Wii Fit, but I kind of "beat" the game. This game must be good if it has a "plus" on it. Its like improved fitness plan. I need to get on a fitness plan anyway. 

Non Material Things

• I want to have a good year.
  I'm so happy that I really started to find myself last birthday. I just want to keep this "happy streak" going so I can keep enjoying life as much as I do right now.
• I want to show people what I'm made of.
  Most people that I encounter (not all of them) think that I'm a "quiet kid who will go on a shooting rampage if provoked. Oh, and she is kind of nice." That isn't true. I know that I don't really care about what other people think about me, but when people go up to me and say "you can't do that because you are stupid" then I really got to say something back to them.
•  I want to reach my goals.
   I have big goals and small goals, but either way I have things that I want to achieve. That is very important because if I didn't have any goals, then I would just be asleep all of the time and I can't even do that.  The only thing that I have to do now is to write a list of my goals and slowly reach them, one at a time. I know that this is going to take a while, but it still is worth trying. 
•  I want to volunteer more.
   I do lots of volunteering, but I want to do even more. I'm not bored with the stuff that I do now, but I just want to really see if I can find a place where I really want to waste my time. (I meant that as a good waste of time too).
• Keep being me.
  I really learned the importance of being myself this summer, but I always knew that being my outlandish geeky self was a good thing after all. It is really hard for a kid like me to be me in a urban wetland of teens who think its a bad thing to stand up for yourself, listen to punk rock, be smart, not watch MTV and be friendly. I admit that sometimes I wonder why they hate me, but then again, I can always think about the promise that I made to myself.

I want one last thing...
A Birthday Cake!  Whats a birthday without the cake?

Anddd Here is a video that just popped into my mind that regards birthday cake.

Cibo Matto - Birthday Cake (Live) 

What I should be doing right now.

I'm kind of bored right now, so I'm going to list the things that I should be doing right now. Hopefully, this will serve as a list so I can start to do these things whenever I get bored in the next few days. And to make it fun, I'm going to see how many of these things I can do in a whole day. Its fun, and I get something done too!

1. Write blog post on all the things that I did on my "to - do" list.
2. Finish writing post about my music collection on "The Sound Collection".
3. Write Birthday wish list.
4. Go outside and do something before it gets too dark.
5. Buy skateboard wheels before winter. 
6. Buy 3 pairs of new pants.
7. Get a Le Tigre CD and dance to it.
8. Get Mika Miko's C.Y.S.L.A.B.F CD and blog about it.
9. Buy some Cd's off of mail order.
10. Buy something from of K Records and blog about it.
11. Buy something from 4AD Records and blog about it. 
12. Upload new CD's that I got for free.
13. Finish that darn summer reading book by next week so I can be like "Yeah! I finished my summer reading early :D"
14. Finish that darn History homework so I can be like "Yeah! I finished my summer homework early!"
15. Take more naps/sleep late/get to bed early.
16. E-mail friend and and update them on stuff thats going on.
17. Try to update my blog theme.
18. Read another 3 books this summer.
19. "Try" to hang out with my friends before they go to school.
20. Go Skateboarding.
21. Start packing for weekend trip.
22. Finish the patches I started making.
23. Start making bracelets from my old broken belt.
24. Buy a new belt/get a new belt buckle.
25. Think about new hair cut and get it.
26. Buy two or three pairs of shoes. 
27. Play my guitar more.
28. Finish that song I started writing earlier this summer.
29. Write a journal entry.
30. Write a blog entry.

Yeah, I know that I won't get all of this done in one day, but it is still worth a try. I'll see how it goes tomorrow.