I'm not true to my age.

I'm not that old. I'm not going to tell you my real age because you are are going to have to find that out for yourself. So to start of this post in a positive light, I'm going to have some trivia for you guys relating to my age:

• I'm old enough to drive.
• I can get into concerts without being kicked out.
• I'm not old enough to legally drink.
• I had a president write to me when email was "new".
• I'm too young to remember Tron, but I have seen it.
• I'm young enough to have had a tape deck, and a Walkman.
• I'm young enough to have used encyclopedia in my life.
• I can get a tattoo.

But why does this matter? I'm always thinking about how people my age "don't get me" and how the people who are are older than I am get me, but I hate being so "young" if you get what I'm saying.  I try to connect with people my age, but I always get the same answer of "no" when I ask if they "Want to go to a indie rock concert that will be life changing". But I do have the rare 3 friends who are my age, exactly like me, and are willing to go to an indie rock concert with me and get home at 1AM without getting yelled at with by their parents. The bad thing is that all of my friends live in California, New Mexico and Kentucky. I do get the couple of friends that relate to me in my state, but they are always doing something "more important" (see here)

Now on the other hand, people older than me get me, but I don't want to say the wrong thing; I'm always kind of nervous when I'm talking to someone older than me because I don't want to seam like a "kid" to them.  Yes, I'm smart for my age because I'm hanging out with people older than myself. It's always been that way. For example, when I was in Kindergarten I was hanging out with kids in Third grade and helping them with their homework (no lie). I moved on from hanging out with third graders, now I'm a natural with the local punks, "crazy" people who aren't really crazy, musicians and I'm kind of good of tolerating hipsters (that was hard to say).

This is even effecting my relationships. I don't think that anyone my age wants to date me because I'm too "smart, or too strange". But I do have someone who cares, I just don't want to share that with you guys because sadly, my blog is not my journal. If I do ever feel like boring my feelings out on the screen then I'll be happy to tell you, but it isn't' now.

I always am my natural self either way though because I'm just that kind of person who likes being themselves, I'm a natural Leo. What else can you expect from me? Yes, I don't just give in to my concerns when I'm doubting myself, I keep trying until I reach my goal, or the goal gives up on me. That is just what I have to do now, keep trying to be optimistic and I'm sure that I'll make it through.